Like the Fella Once Said…Parents Just Don’t Understand

The problem with blogs is that you inevitably wind up feeling like you have to talk about everything, especially something so controversial as the “terrorist fist jab.” So in that mold, Polous tackles the “fist-bump:”

¬†Who invented this moronic gesture? Yipster huppies who watched The Office and Boiler Room one too many times? People who hate handshakes? And the waves of brine-like human shrimp who let themselves drift in a red tide of hapless conformity….

Um, inner city black kids (who in the hell doesn’t know that?) a long time ago. I mean seriously dude, I’m a white kid from rural Ohio and I’ve been giving dap (new rule; no calling it a “fist bump” on this blog unless you’re mocking someone else for using the term. It is called “dap,” use the word right) since at least middle school. Where the hell have you been man?

Polous isn’t old, so I guess he just a pass for living under a damn rock for most of his life. But seriously, I don’t think I’ve seen anything more embarrassnigly painful than watching old white people on television acting all amazed by this. YOU’RE IN NEW YORK AND WASHINGTON D.C (mostly), if you don’t understand this thing this black man does, GO TO HARLEM AND HAVE SOMEONE EXPLAIN IT TO YOU. Or better yet, go to a high school on the Upper West Side and ask some upper middle class white kid about it, because he’s been doing it since he got out of diapers.

The media is supposed the be society’s gateway to information. When they can’t figure out what giving dap is, when you see it at least 5 times per baseball game, and can’t be bothered to find someone who does know what it is and, I don’t know, ASK THEM before they go on TV and make a fool out of themselves, it just leaves you scared about what that says about us as a society.